All Smiles November 19, 2011

I could not think of any good title for this blog since it’s been so long since I last posted up a blog. It’s funny but I remember that one of my posts was entitled to My Future Boyfriend…or something like that…life is funny because while I was busy making plans and just embracing my single status, up pops that guy. It wasn’t like he was hiding someplace far away but he was right there at my job. I guess that was the reason why I have been MIA, my JOB…just as I was becoming one of those people who wasn’t really living but rather just working endlessly, he shows up.

I told my best friend the moment that I started working that there were no cute guys working there. I was actually really disappointed because if I was gonna endure the torture of retail, I needed at least one piece of eye candy. Not to mention that my fellow coworkers seemed either wayyy too old or too young, so I just didn’t bother listening to that inner voice that said, “You never know you might meet someone,” I just stayed to myself for the most part and did my job but then people wanted to tag me as being the quiet chick. “You’re so pretty you should smile more.” So I did, I opened up a little more because I am by no means shy. And then I met him, (nickname: Z Bear) Z Bear asked if it was my first day working there because he hadn’t seen me before…I was annoyed & irritated because that was not the first time I was asked that question. To me it was common sense that if you didn’t see me before maybe I just worked a different schedule or in a different department…but why did it have to mean that I was the new girl (because I wasn’t,) I was tired of explaining the same thing to every employee who asked me that question, “No, it’s not my first day, I just never got called for orientation…” We ended up becoming friends, I would buy chocolate or candy to help get us through the day with a sugar rush and he would return the favor by bringing me candy and leaving it by my register. One day he left a note asking me if I wanted some kind of candy, and I said yes. I didn’t even realize I was crushing on him until a coworker asked me who I thought was cute & I blurted out Z Bear without thinking. The next time we worked together he left me another note but this time it was his phone number & an invitation to have dinner with him.

Now weeks later it’s official that the single black female is single no more…well at least temporarily…for now I’m just enjoying these new changes in my life & hopefully they only get bigger & better from here!!

September 27, 2011

I’m sure many are familiar with the story of Cinderella but the bitch (excuse my French ) was lucky…she had a fairy godmother who spoiled her rotten & ended up with a prince living it up in a castle….I can relate to the chick but minus the godmother, prince charming, and glass slipper (mine would be a 3 in maybe 4 in stilleto heel).

A modern day Cinderella finds herself back home after years of freedom living on campus. That freedom is what every 20 something wants…no craves…the ability to live without being told what to do & when to do it by a parent or guardian. Imagine that 20 something year old being begged to come home & agreeing to it…cause after all they’re broke… Now that person is in a worse hell then Cinderella could even dream of.

This modern day Cinderella is struggling everyday to keep her sanity but at any moment she can easily loose it. For one thing what 20 something year old has a curfew, is told who they can’t date or hangout with, what they shouldn’t wear, or do, etc. Its as though I’m not allowed to have a life of my own. But I’m a quiet rebel & have an inner bad girl you don’t wanna mess with….the more they bitch & nag & drive me closer to that breaking point…the more that side comes out.

Its hard to try & be respectful when people refuse to listen, compromise or have anyone tell them they’re wrong or allowing that person to have a say. I’m tired of being treated like I don’t have a mind of my own & like a child. I’m tired of dealing with hypocrites, negativity and dealing with this crap….Cinderella needs a drink & a freaking vacation.

To My Future One & Only September 24, 2011

SN: Still can’t sleep so I thought I should try writing a love letter to my future man…can’t say this is originally my idea…a guy wrote a status on Facebook to his future girlfriend & I thought that was cute.

TO MY FUTURE MAN WHOEVER YOU MIGHT BE,
I can’t promise you a perfect relationship nor can I promise to be the perfect girlfriend but I can promise to always have your back & be by your side. I promise to be faithful & ill try my best to be understanding & guarantee that I will only have your best interests at heart. That means I will address when you are doing wrong, or are just wrong period. But its only because I love you (ill try to let you be right about some things). I can promise you plenty of passionate kisses, mental foreplay, smiles, laughter & everything else your heart desires….there may be times where we can’t stand each other but at the end of the day I promise that we wont go to sleep mad. I promise to communicate with you, listen (even when I don’t want to), try things that you might enjoy a lot more than me like watching sports or hanging with the boys or playing video games & most importantly I promise to love you unconditionally & be your best friend

Work, Love & Everything in Between September 24, 2011

Bare with me I’m currently typing this from my phone..mainly cause I can’t sleep.

So much has transpired since my last post but I’m just gonna skip to recent events.
The Job- Not exactly my dream job & definitely not a career for me but its a start & better than nothing..things are looking up so if all goes to plan ill have that new car, apartment in due time (hopefully real soon)
The Love Life- none but I’m ok with that (do I have a choice?) I can say that there is one Guy that I feel drawn to although he’s miles away & he’s incredible …if its meant to be it will be
Everything Else- I feel like my current location has wore out its welcome…I’m ready to leave & experience new things & new people while saying goodbye to those who need to be outta my life for Good…I’m an optimistic person & I know Gods got my back

Til next time XOXOXO

Games June 24, 2011

The dating scene nowadays is terrible.

It used to be simple, that guy who was crushing on you gathers up enough courage to ask you out and you say yes because you were crushing on him as well. The days before the date takes place, you make sure everything is up to par, the hair, the nails, the outfit, shoes and accessories to match. Everything is in order and the day of the date arrives. Back then he would be a gentleman, open your door, pull out your chair and to end the most romantic night ever, he kisses you on the cheek. He might want to kiss you on the lips but being the gentleman that he is he will save that for the next few dates.

Fast forward to today and that same date will go a little differently. If you’re lucky buddy might open the door, but forget about pulling out your chair. The conversation is pretty decent but at the end of the night he doesn’t kiss you on the cheek but wants one on the lips (which isn’t that bad) but maybe he wants more like “let’s go back to my place,” mess…

Well you might think that maybe that chick with buddy #2 didn’t run him through the proper protocol. To make sure he was datable material before actually meeting up with him…but in this case maybe she did, in fact she has gotten to know everything about him & it appears that he has everything that she is looking for in a man. The problem is that in today’s dating scene it is more about men (and plenty of women too) playing games and not actually wanting to settle down. Today it’s all about having those friends with benefits, because it just makes things so much easier when the emotional aspect is not there…but who are we fooling, there always ends up being emotions involved with one party or perhaps both. In the end somebody winds up looking like a fool.

Reality Bites June 20, 2011

It’s hard to be optimistic when not only are you single & dateless but you’re also stuck at home & jobless. I have a lot on my mind so today it shall all be released…

First of all what really sucks is that after years of schooling, and taking numerous tests & quizzes you would think that with a degree in your hand you should be able to get a job that pays over the minimum wage. The reality is that with every application you send in there’s more frustrations and agonies to go with it. You fill out the long applications, plus you have to fill out questionnaires that take from a few minutes to hours to complete, and then on top of that in some cases you have actual tests. Now it depends because sometimes you just have the interview but in most cases you have a long vigorous process to undergo and that doesn’t guarantee a job. So I ask the most important question which is, “What the hell is the point of going to school to obtain a degree?” Let me go a little further to say, what is the point of it all? You went through all of that hard work to have nothing to show for it. You’re probably like the majority of college grads, broke, in debt with all the loans you owe & are probably dying to get up outta their parent’s houses.

My answer to the above question is that little piece of paper you worked your ass off to obtain is completely pointless. Don’t despair though because you should be proud of yourself for making it that far but unless you have a degree in computers or engineering you probably will have to settle for a minimum wage job in order to obtain work experience. Or perhaps you are lucky & just know someone who can get you that job…either way life after college def. sucks…I plan on going back to school asap & maybe a master’s degree will gain me entrance into the extravagant life.

So I was Bored :/ May 21, 2011

So I saw this on a friend’s facebook page & was extra bored soo why not…for your amusement I guess

Name: Wouldnt you like to know
Age: 25
School: Graduate of Florida International University (miami) 
Nationality: Black & some other stuff (mainly Cherokee Indian, & Irish)

Hobbies:  Writing.Music. Shopping. Internet. Sleep. Movies. Anything that can keep me entertained cuz I get bored easily
Love Life: LoL…what love life O__O

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: My Lord & Savior Jesus Christ
Do you like someone?: I did but ehh stuff happens -__-
Does anyone like you?: Ehh….idk
Have you ever kissed anyone?: Yes I love kissing if the kissee is a good kisser
Hugged anyone in the past week?: yyuupp
Who is your best friend?: Not one single person, I choose to have the small group of friends I trust, I love them & they love me

Where did you meet them?: Everywhere.

Did you lose any friends this year?: No
Gain any?: Yes

Meet a special friend?: Sure.
Did you hang out with any friends in the past week?: Yuppp.
Did you do anything at midnight?: Watched a movie.
Who did you spend it with?: my bed.
Did you have any resolutions?: Have a stronger, ever growing relationship with God & not to focus on the small stuff, just be happy & trust God will provide.

Did you have a Valentine?: No. (sadface)
Did you send out any cards/chocolates/etc?: No? 

Did you have a boyfriend/girlfriend on this day?: Nope

Did you go trick or treating?: No
If so, who did you go with?: N/A
Did you dress up?: N/A

Was it fun: N/A

Christmas
Who did you spend it with?: My family
Did Santa come to your house?: Sadly I mustve been bad cuz he skipped my house

Did you stay up until midnight on Christmas Eve? Yea to watch tv

Your Birthday
Who did you spend it with?: Myself

What did you do?: Went out with my friends during the weekend & had dinner

What did you get?: a cute dress & a gift from Mr. Kryptonite

When is it?: March 3rd

Have You Ever: (Yes or No)
Kissed someone: Yes
Hugged someone: Yes
Electrocuted yourself: yes/no
Climbed more than 60 feet: no
Made a Youtube video: not yet 
Lied to a loved one: Yep.
Had a nosebleed: yep

Gotten airsick: Not that I recall..
Been so bored, you just ate food: Yes.
Not brushed your teeth for a day: Yes (i was in the house all day)
Not showered for a day: Yes (same reason as above)
Drank alcohol: Yes
Smoked: Yes…only a few times -_-  
Tried drugs: No
Had a pet: Yes
Ran a marathon: no..
Had a boyfriend/girlfriend: Yes
Do you play any instruments?: Piano

Do you play any sports?: I can play a little basketball, tennis (terribly)

Do you believe in 2012?: No. I believe in Jesus!!
Do you like cheese?: Yes
Do you honestly like Obama?: Yes
If you get $1 Million for breaking up with your boyfriend/girlfriend, would you?: If I thought we were meant to be no…other than that..HECK YEA 
If you were to get $50,000 for killing a rat, would you?: Yes *shrugs*.
If you were to choose between your best friend and your brother/sister, who would you choose?: My family
If you were to choose between coke/pepsi or sprite/7up, which would you choose?: Pepsi n Sprite

How old do you want to be when you get married?: idk..before Im 30 
How many siblings do you have?: One sister
How did your last Christmas go? Dont really remember it was ok i guess -___-
When did you have your first kiss?: around 14 or 15
When did you last have a piece of cake?: some weeks ago
What would you say if the guy/girl you like right now kissed you?: Nothing cuz that kiss could last for hours

Tutoring Sessions May 6, 2011

I have concluded that a writing tutor is much like a teacher. Shoot I might as well pursue teaching, maybe if I would have chosen education as my major instead of starting out in biomedical engineering, not only would I have graduated with a 4.0 GPA but I would have a job by now. Instead I went in the opposite direction and ended up messing up my GPA & graduating with a useless diploma. But this isn’t about my life decisions but rather my journey as a tutor.

I learned so much in the past few months of being a tutor (currently I’m an unemployed ex writing consultant). First off there were many moments where I couldn’t stand tutoring, I would enjoy all the moments when my appointments did not show up or canceled. All in all, I enjoyed the moments where the students wanted to learn something. After they read their papers out loud, I would mentally take notes about what their papers were lacking and jot down some things that I felt they needed to work on. For example, one student was working on her masters in psychology for social work and was required to write-up a paper in APA style. The paper was over ten pages so we focused on the important parts of her paper and I helped her revise it.

What most people get confused about is the role of a writing tutor. We are not editors who just take papers and automatically make the corrections. Our goal is to help the students become better writers, so that after a few times coming in for tutoring, they are able to revise their papers without our help. It’s such a great feeling when the people I tutor have not only become better writers but are able to point out things in their own papers that I may have not noticed or not brought up yet. Another great feeling is when students thank me or tell me that they got an A on their paper.

As a graduate looking forward to going to graduate school, I have learned from many of those same students I tutored. I have worked on so many personal statements, that now I look forward to writing my own and I hope that all of these tutoring experiences will help liven up my writing.

Frustration April 21, 2011

I’m still frustrated…frustrated over the fact that at 25 (newly 25 thank you very much,) I have accomplished little over nothing. Don’t get me wrong graduating with my bachelor’s degree & after a long pursuit, finally having a job (although its only $10 an hr at 10 hrs a week); I have realized that those accomplishments are rather minor.

 I never dreamed about what I wanted to do with my life, (was so indecisive; one min. I wanted to be a teacher the next a nurse, both of which I have not become) and I feel like somewhere along the line, I failed miserably. I know it’s never too late but geez all this hard work for nothing…years of taking the bus (multiple buses might I add), the metro and even waking up before the sun came out and still I have nothing to show for it. Nowadays a bachelor’s degree doesn’t cut it, so there’s my goal of getting my masters in the very near future.

I’m frustrated about the fact that I still live at home, with my mom & nana whom are driving me crazy. Frustrated that they believe they know me but really do not have a clue about my capabilities, I love it when people underestimate me so I can prove them wrong. Tell me my weaknesses so I can show you how wrong you are.

My Own Personal Therapy April 19, 2011

I realize that I need a venue to get out all my frustrations before someone gets hurt. I just wanna grab Kryptonite and dish it out in a boxing ring. Every emotion I ever fault for that man relinquished with every jab maybe then he would be able to feel the pain that I feel.

Things couldn’t get any worser right? Wrong….Im stuck in this hell hole suffering from what I have termed Cinderella syndrome. Except in my case there is no fairy godmother, no prince…shoot not even a dam glass slipper. It takes a strong person to go through all the ups & downs of life but an even stronger individual to go through the daily crap that I have to put up with.

 I always say that when I think that things are at their worse, someone, somewhere is going through worser things. So that little mantra is what keeps me moving forward.

Maybe I don’t need a therapist since I have my own personal therapy sessions in the form of a blog. I shall continue to dish out all of lifes frustrations & hopefully my err prince will save me one day.